Bra battles

There’s a woman in South Derbyshire apparently who has persuaded Ann Summers to stock mastectomy bras in their lingerie lines.

Not before time.  I hear many a breast cancer survivor bemoaning the fact that you can’t get surgery-friendly sexy underwear anywhere for love nor money.

In theory, having had a reconstruction, I could wear any bra, but in reality anything underwired is bloody uncomfortable so I stick to the mastectomy models, of which there are few.

Marks and Spencers is about the best, but I had a mini strop in there the other day because although they do have some quite pretty post-surgery bras with, it’s claimed, knickers to match, they never seem to have my size or if they do the rest of the range is kept half way across the shop floor so you have to traipse miles only to discover they don’t in fact have the pants to match which is, well, pants.

Still, you do get let off VAT on mastectomy bras…. there has to be an upside!

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Perks of the job

With a name like Mr Perks, you couldn’t be anything other than a breast surgeon. What a great name! In a similar vein, there’s also a surgeon at Nottingham called Mr Sharp.

The Brilliant Miss Bello has moved on, so I saw Mr Perks when I went for my recent six monthly check-up. He wanted to see how the reconstructed breast is shaping up. All fine. The next thing they do is tattoo the nipple.

I’ve also got a date for my annual checkup next month – that means it’s coming up to two years since the original diagnosis.

I am just recovering from a bout of gastro-enteritis. One dodgy prawn and my body purged itself for four days continuously. Lovely!

Meanwhile its all gone quiet on the Dr Johnson front. His PR said he’d be in touch soon but no word yet. Perhaps it’s time to chase it.

You can live your life!

That’s what the surgeon said to me today after giving the reconstructed breast a good pummelling. All fine and dandy, apparently, and I can resume normal activities – whatever they are.

Only remaining bit of work is to get the nipple tattooed in a few months time. When I’d first had the op the new nipple was HUGE – but it shrinks, and will, I’m told,  continue to do so.

The surgeon (the Brilliant Miss Bello) said I had done remarkably well, and I said the same about her, so we parted in an atmosphere of mutual appreciation.

Doesn’t seem that long ago that I was crying in her clinic …

Where in the world

Mexico, Puerto Rico, Australia, Japan, the US and Oldham – that’s where recent visitors to this blog have come from. It’s fascinating looking at the stats.

‘Cartoon teeth’ has now dropped off the list of search engine terms leading them here; instead, people have googled ‘El Greco paintings’, ‘Venetian ballroom masks’, ‘odd bras’ and ‘fuddle Nottingham’. Hope these random readers are not too disappointed.

Been a bit weak and woozy these past few days and the wound is starting to sting a bit. Being well looked after by JP and the Lodger.

Homecoming

 

I’m back! To  JP home-cooking (beats hospital food) and floral welcomes inside and out. This giant red poppy has sprung up overnight.

And the sun’s come out to aid my recuperation.

Doc says it’s two to four weeks recovery…I’m thinking four!

City life

Arrived at 7am yesterday – got into theatre at 4pm! Much smaller show than last time but same surgeon, same drop-dead-gorgeous anaesthetist, same escort, same banter (‘got your sexy stockings on?’ Andy). Results looking good, and no pain whatsoever. Only downside to that is – no morphine!

One not to watch..

 Channel 4 Dispatches tomorrow night – The truth about going under the knife.

Not before Wednesday, anyway.

Wednesday is the day when I go to have the temporary saline implant swapped for a more permanent silicone one. Sounds straightforward, but it still involves an hour and a half in surgery. An hour and a half when I’m out for the count and someone else has total control over what happens to me – and it’s this that gives me the jitters.

No, I shan’t be watching. When I descend to the operating theatre (you do descend, it’s in the hospital basement), I want it to be with absolute faith that all processes and procedures are faultless.