101 uses for a wig


Forgot to take a wig-stand to Somerset so had to improvise.

Talking of wigs, when we took a stroll round Watchet Harbour I noticed I wasn’t the only one wearing one. There were drag-artists out collecting for Carnival. This got me thinking about the many and varied potential functions for a wig. Here’s a few to be going along with:

– Alysa (formerly Alister) wears them to enhance her new gender identity
– Brian two-doors-down used to collect maniquin heads from skips, put them in his upstairs window and dress them up in wigs and hats. When he took the display down passers-by complained they missed the show.
– Some people wear curly ones while getting very drunk and pretending to be scousers
– Sonja (not her real name) has several wigs from when she worked for a private detective agency.
– Becky’s step-mum’s dog performed unspeakable acts with hers
– The court of Louis XIV wouldn’t be seen out without them
– When Joy worked as a nanny for Orthodox Jewish families in London, the women would don wigs to cover their already luxuriant hair before leaving the house. Think it’s a religious thing.
– Andre Agassi wore one to play tennis.
– We saw a lot of silly red and white ones during the World Cup.
– Judges wear full-bottomed wigs on ceremonial occasions.

Any more for any more?

Meanwhile I cycled seven miles today – not bad for a chemo-head!

Paranoid

First time out in public wearing a wig and EVERYONE can tell.

Today, I can read minds, and they’re all thinking: “that’s a wig!” Every single person’s laughing at me – or worse – pitying me.

“It looks great” they tell me at the hairdressers. But they’re lying.

Walking down the street on the hottest day of the year, I’m itching to pull the thing off. Then in the taxi with the windows open it’s in danger of being blown away. I hang onto my head, and the taxi driver knows. He’s thinking “keep your hair on!”

The woman in the wig shop said it would ‘settle down’. I hope she’s right.

Looking forward to four months time when my real hair grows back thicker than before.

Hair today


But at this rate it’ll be gone tomorrow. It’s coming out in handfuls.

Oscar has an annoying habit of shedding hairs everywhere, clogging up the Dyson. Now I’m adding to the problem.

Jo the hairdresser is on standby to cut it all off if it gets too much (or too little), but for now there’s still enough attached to be viable, just. She will also style the wig for me. Hairdressers are used to this, apparently. There’s a lot of it about.

Meanwhile while I still have hair Charlie the artist is coming round to paint me. He used to do mostly abstracts – like the one in the pic – but is diversifying into portraits and wants people to sit. When he asked he implied it might be onerous.

I can sit – I’ve got time on my hands – how hard can it be?

It’d better be flattering, though!

Hair!


This (the one called Laurie) is what I will look like in a few weeks time. People will hardly be able to tell the difference!

Some people go for a second wig, and as you can see there are plenty of other options should I get bored. But how to choose? Perhaps I should put it to public vote?

Meanwhile, we civil servants are now able to find out how many of our big cheese bosses earn more than the Prime Minister: http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Nl1/Newsroom/DG_188114