Recovery is a rocky road

I had big plans, when I finished treatment. No longer would I take life for granted. Never again would I waste a moment. Life, I was determined, would not be the same again. It would be better. And all those things I’d wanted to do but never quite got round to, those things I’d been putting off till another day, I would get on with doing.

Some days, I’m propelled by an urgency and a sense of time running out. Do it now. Some days, I want to conquer the world.

Then I collapse in a heap, and I remember I am knackered.

There is a nice man with a Lancashire accent who talks to me through a hypnosis CD  designed to aid emotional recovery from breast cancer. He says “You will see things you want to do but you know you are not far enough along the road of emotional recovery to complete the journeys behind the doors of opportunity… Be patient. Your time will come.”

And then I realise, to feel like this is normal. Because it’s a balancing act between recovery, battling with the everyday things of life which I am resuming doing – like going to work – and cutting out the crap which no longer seems important.

The conference, the one about ‘the future’ is a case in point.  A year ago, I was taking work home and losing sleep over it. But there was no future. It wasn’t worth it. I am trying not to get mired in minutae at work. So far, I am succeeding.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Alexandra Wallace Currie
    Apr 13, 2011 @ 05:45:53

    Well said!

    Reply

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