Radio silence

The last radiotherapy session today was oddly anticimatic. This cancer journey, which started out with a big bang and high drama, and is now kind of fizzling out.

Now treatment is over I am left to assess the damage – a mutilated boob that still looks like a boob, at least from the outside; an annoyingly aching back; general tiredness – but no worse than I normally experience at this time of year; and a very short haircut.

But I mustn’t grumble, because whatever the hangovers of the treatment, it’s better than the alternative! And I am truly glad to be here.

Today I’ve had my head shaved – which may sound barmy given that there’s hardly any hair there anyway – but I’m told it helps it to grow back thicker. It’s coming back dark!!

I shall probably wind this blog up in the new year – it will then be a complete record of treatment from start to finish.

These are strange, grey, in-betweeny days. Usually I go back to work in between Christmas and New Year, it’s a good time for tying up loose ends, when it’s quiet. We will probably see out the year as we saw it in, watching a band at our local pub. But this year no Jane. It seems impossible that someone so vital can be no longer here. It hasn’t sunk in yet, like she’s just away, or something. Like I will be seeing her next week, next month, next year….


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