The conundrums of a cosmic cleaner

We hired a cleaner to help make life easier through my recovery. She turned up, larger than life, and blitzed the place. She can come again, we thought. Since then, it’s been like this:

Week one: She corners me in the kitchen with tell me about her love-life. She married a China-man, but didn’t love him. She loved an Iranian, but couldn’t be with him. She divorced, and is now in love with a Nigerian, who’s gone back to his wife, so she’s waiting for him. In the meantime she’s dating another Nigerian.

Week two She tells me she’s a medium and talks to the dead. It doesn’t surprise me – I guess they, like me, are a captive audience. I’d rather she didn’t conjure up any ghosts in my house though. She says the Dyson will do her an injury so she brings her own Henry.

Week three: The first thing she says on arrival is: “I could kill me sister..” I sense a drama coming on and decide to absent myself. More cleaning gets done that way.

Week four: No show due to illness. Fair enough.

Week five: She brings a friend. Double trouble? More like Buy One Get One Free. They do twice as much cleaning for the price of one.

Week six: No show. Car broken down. Fair enough, but I wonder if she may be unreliable. We decide to give her one more chance.

Week seven: She brings her sweet Nigerian boyfriend. He’s very shy and smiley but he doesn’t mind the Dyson. Makes a good job of the hoovering.

Week eight: She is fascinated by Charlie, the artist, and stays a while after her shift to watch him work.

Week nine: (this week). Shows up late. Sweet smiley boyfriend has been arrested. He’s currently in an immigration detention centre.

The saga continues. Watch this space …..

It is nice to have clean windows and dusted surfaces.


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Joy
    Jul 17, 2010 @ 06:47:09

    she doesn't half pick 'em….


  2. Dee
    Jul 17, 2010 @ 15:50:14

    But can she make pink bras white again??


  3. medicalmutiny
    Jul 18, 2010 @ 10:22:49

    Have not set her to work on the washing yet but she's doing a good job of the cleaning and of supplying me vicarious on-the-edge experiences.


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